I love black thongs
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
