Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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