Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize