did you get engaged???
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
