hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
