I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
