You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
