Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
