Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
