The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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