I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your penis caused this!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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