so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fill condoms, not promises.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
