if you like me you must not know who I am
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
