I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
