That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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