Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
