I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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