I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
