My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
