Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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