every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
