i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
