So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize