The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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