FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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