I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
