I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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