Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
