Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
