they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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