Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
