what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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