omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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