i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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