Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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