I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
