She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
