Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
