I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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