Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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