You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
