So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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