ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
