Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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