I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
