your thong is hanging out like whoa
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry about my life...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
