Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
