I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
