Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
