sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
