it wasn't lemon gatorade
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
