okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When are your genitals available?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
