afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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