Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize