Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
