We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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