I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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