the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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