so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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