i need an iv and a liver transplant
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
