Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
