is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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