You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
