I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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