i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
