You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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