I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm too high and old for this...
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