You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
