quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Still dying that you shit outside
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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