i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
