It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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