Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
